Fell To My Knees
by renagadeforlife
Summary: Shepard invites Tali up to his cabin and things could get serious. *Recommend reading "A Will To Survive" before reading this story*


Fell To My Knees

"Would you care to join me up in my cabin Tali," Shepard smoothly asked.

"It would be an honor Commander", Tali replied.

The two walked to the elevators and headed up to Shepard's cabin. The doors open and Shepard leads Tali over to the couch and they sit down.

"Nice cabin Shepard. It's so much roomier than most rooms back on the Flotilla."

"What can I say? I enjoy a little breathing room", he sarcastically replied.

An awkward moment of silence fell over the room. Finally, Tali broke the silence, "So… how was Illium?"

"Well… it was what you'd expect from an Asari world."

"So… lots of strippers. Sorry, I mean exotic dancers."

Shepard laughed, "I wouldn't know. I wasn't looking for any eye candy."

"Is that so Shepard? I see your time with the Alliance has trained you to ignore distractions."

"…that's not it exactly", and then Shepard paused. He smiled and finished, "I already have given my attention to a particular piece of eye candy."

Tali, blushing under her mask, replied, "Well, whoever it might be is a lucky girl."

"I'd say I'm the lucky one," he chuckled. "Oh! Before I forget, I found something I thought you'd like."

"Really?" Tali knew that Shepard was looking for something because Kelly had told her, but she promised not to spoil the secret. "What is it?"

"Well… a month or so ago, I made a Quarian acquaintance on Omega. He told me that there was another Quarian down on Illium who specialized in retrieving "special items". Even with his intel, it was hard to find this guy. Anyways, to make a long story short, I found him and he sold me…", he pauses and reaches behind his back. He turns back to Tali and says, "…this."

Tali grabs the box from his hand and opens it. She pulls the top off the box and gasps. Tali couldn't believe what she was seeing.

Shepard interrupts, "The Quarian who sold this to me told me it was a family heirloom that has been passed down since before the Geth uprising. It originally belonged to a Quarian only known as Lady Megara. He told me that the story was that she was killed during the Geth uprising by the Geth. He would never have sold it but he needed money for his Pilgrimage and, even then, he jacked up the price to an astronomical amount. One hundred and fifty thousand credits… but it seemed worth it. Tali?"

Tali was rendered almost speechless, "I…I"

"I'm sorry, I just figured you'd want something to remind you of your people, but I guess all it is doing is reminding you of what you lost. I'm sorry Tali"

"No, I love it. I just never thought I'd ever see something like this ever again. Thank you Shepard."

She pulled him in and hugged him as a way of reinforcing her gratitude. When she started to pull away, Shepard pulled her back and hugged her tight. She turned her head and saw a few tears gliding down his facing.

"Shepard, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm…"

"Don't you dare lie to me Shepard."

"I haven't been really able to get a sound night of sleep since…"

"…you died", Tali finished. "Why? What is happening to you Shepard?"

Shepard's eyes began to have the look of someone spacing out and he falls to his knees. Tali sees them and realized it is the same look he had after Ashley died. She extends her hand to help Shepard up.

Tali attempted to snap him out of it, "What is bothering you Shepard? You can talk to me."

Shepard snaps out of it and replies, "I know… it's just that I've been having serious nightmares."

"What happens?"

Shepard was momentarily speechless as he began to reconstruct to monstrous dreams. He finally began to speak, "…I relive all the horrors of my life. I see my parents being slaughtered on Mindoir. The Batarians torched our house and my parents weren't able to get out. I can still hear their screams. Telling me to get out before the entire house was engulfed in flames. I was orphaned after that. I remember the brutality I unleashed on Torfan. It was supposed to be retaliation for the raid on Elysium, but I took it as a chance to get my revenge on the Batarians for my family's death. I led my squad to their deaths as I pushed them further and further into Batarian territory. By the time I reached the last camp, I was the last man standing. I remember demanding the blood of my parents be repaid by spilling the blood of the Batarian scum… I killed them Tali… every last one."

"Shepard…"

He continued as tears were pouring down his face, "I murdered them all and not just the soldiers either. I killed every last Batarian there: the soldiers, their noncombatants, the women, and the…children. The screams…they remain in my head. I should have stopped but I couldn't. I lost control", he paused as he choked on his own breath. "I murdered them Tali! I didn't even give them the chance to run! I should have been court-martialed, but instead I was given a fucking medal! The Alliance gave me a fucking medal for butchering them!"

"I didn't know Shepard."

"It's not your fault Tali… when I was dead, I dreamt about Virmire. I saw the argument between myself and Wrex."

"Well, that ended well didn't it."

"It did, but in my dream I butchered Wrex with my biotics. I tore him limb by limb until there was nothing left of him."

"Keelah…"

"It was like a different Shepard entirely. After that, I was warped to another part of Virmire."

"You don't mean…"

"Yeah, I saw Ashley. I watched the bomb go off and disintegrate her. Her screams of pain chilled my bones… I left her to die."

"You had to make a choice Shepard. She kept the Geth from overwhelming the bombs position."

"Still… I loved her and I left her to die. How can you trust me Tali?"

"What do you mean Shepard?"

"I sacrificed the life of a loved one to complete my mission."

"I just have to Shepard. I'm more than willing to die for…"

"No! No! No!"

"Shepard…"

"You will never die because of me. I will never allow it. You mean too much to me Tali."

"You mean it Shepard?"

"Yes Tali, and honestly, I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"I'm scared that being with you could kill you. I couldn't live with myself if you died because of me."

"Oh Shepard", Tali said holding back tears of her own.

"…Do you remember when you joined me on the elevator two years ago?"

"Of course, I do."

"I won't lie to you Tali…before that, I wanted to die, but you showed me that I had to move on and be strong for those around me. You were Quarian, fresh on your Pilgrimage. It's fair to say before you left you had never come in contact with the other species of the galaxy. Still, you were still willing to join me, a human, on my mission. When I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen."

"Really? Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do Tali, but when you told me you would be returning to the Migrant Fleet, I didn't think it was a good idea to act on my feelings for you."

"Shepard?"

"Yes Tali?"

She hesitated but she remembered what Mordin had said about being confident and replied, "…I want you to see what's under this damn mask. I want to feel your skin against mine. Your lips pressed up on mine. I want to feel you caress my body with your hands. I…I…"

Shepard interrupted her, grabbing onto her waist and announced, "I love you Tali. I love you with every fabric of my being."

Shepard placed his hands behind her helmet, pulled her face to his, and kissed her on her face shield. Tears were flowing down the side of both of their faces.

Tali, choking on her own breath, replied, "Oh Shepard, I love you too. I want to be with you until the end of time. I just need some time to figure out how to do this without the mask."

"Will that be safe?"

"I think so."

Shepard smiled, "Well, don't take too long… Miss vas Normandy."

"I'll try…Commander Shepard vas Normandy."

"Please…its Markus."

"Ok…Markus."

"I'll wait for you as long as I must."

"I'll hold you to that", she replies as she taps on his nose with her finger. "I should probably get back to work. Ken and Gabby might get suspicious."

"No, please stay with me. We have a few hours before we leave Illium. Most of the crew is on shore leave anyways."

She smiled, "Ok Markus."

She cuddles next to him on the couch. The two enjoy each other's company and warmth. Shepard planted a few more pecks on her face shield.

"Markus stop", she giggled, "…you'll smudge the shield."

"I'll be sure to clean it off for you", he sarcastically replied as he keeps planting pecks.

Tali was melting in Shepard's arms as he kept kissing her face shield. She began to pretend that he was kissing her on the lips. She puckered her lips under the mask and matched his lips. She just wanted to jump on his lap and grind on his manhood but she knew that would come eventually so she just enjoyed what was going on at the moment. They spent a good half hour together until Joker came over the speaker.

"Commander, Miranda asked me to relay a message to you."

Shepard looked at Tali.

Tali sighs and says, "It's ok Shepard."

"What's the message Joker?"

"Well, apparently she found someone who can help us find the assassin and the uh… Justicar, whatever that is. She wants you to meet her down on Illium."

"Roger that Joker. Anything else?"

"Yeah, next time I have to relay a message I'll be sure to bill you."

"…Noted", Shepard replied. He turned to Tali, "You want to go to Illium with me?"

"I think I have some research I need to take care of. If you need me, you know how to get in contact with me."

They both smiled and they went to the elevator. They reached the CIC and just before the doors opened, Shepard squeezed in one last kiss.

"Don't go dying on me Shepard… or I'll kill you myself."

"Yes ma'am. Alright then, I'll see you later then Tali."

"See you later", and under her breath she finished, "Markus."


End file.
